it's crazy how different i feel since i have gotten back from mississippi. i feel as though i have matured so much, in my faith and in many other aspects of my life. i wasnt expecting to experience this much change from this trip. i am definitely not complaining tho. i have a much more positive outlook on life and im happier than i have been in quite a while. i kno that i am on a "spiritual high" right now, which many people experience after they've been on mission trips or spiritual retreats. people get on such a "high" from experiencing so much of God's love and strengthening their relationship with Him. they are in an environment where focusing on only God is possible...everything is about him...there are no distractions. but once they get back into the real world...after becoming so much stronger in their faith...they often get slapped in the face by the world. i have experienced this many times before and im hoping it wont be as bad this time.
i have gotten somewhat frustrated since ive gotten home because im still living in the world of lakeshore baptist church. my mind and heart are still there and im in a kind of limbo. i want to be back there and i feel as tho things are going on without me and it makes me sad and frustrated. plus, all i want to do is talk about my trip, but people dont really want to hear much about it. some people dont even ask :/ and whenever i try to talk about it, there's just too much to tell and i feel as though no one really understands where im coming from or what the experience was like for me. i mean, it was life-changing! and everyone at home doesnt understand that. i am so in love with christ right now that i just want to shout it from my window. i want people to feel the same way i feel. i want to share this feeling with them. but it's not that easy. its hard to evoke a feeling in someone by just telling them about something u experienced...they must experience it too or they cant fully understand or get the same feeling as u have. it's definitely frustrating, but all i can do is try and share my experiences with those willing to listen...
Erin, I am so glad that you kept this blog and that I was able to follow and learn as much as I could about your expereince without actually being there with you. While completely different areas of experience I feel that we have both had amazing experiences in short times this summer and am so glad we got to keep up with each other through our blogs. I will write my own reflection blog, but anyways this is really long. But I cannot wait to hear about your trip in person. Although,I'm sure it is hard to be so excited about such a life-changing expereince,when only you can really know all it means. but that's the thing about life-changing experiences there so personal and you can tell somebody all you want but they don't have the experience to go with the story. And two people can have the exact same experience and it change their life in completely different ways.this is really long, my bad, anyways I'll write my own reflection blog. Have soo much fun on your cruise! Seeing such beauty!
ReplyDeletethanks elissa! im soo glad you kept up with the blog as much as you did and commented on it often! it really meant a lot to me :) i kno your experience at duke this summer has been amazing too and im glad that i was able to keep up with ur time there too in ur blog :)
ReplyDelete